A Brief Guide to Epiphany Management
We often think of epiphanies as sudden sparks of inspiration. It’s Archimedes leaping out of the bathtub shrieking, “Eureka!” The lightbulb over Bugs Bunny’s head. That bolt from the blue.
But there are times when it doesn’t pan out that way. Sometimes insight arrives as a creeping knowing, sliding out of the shadowy unconscious by inches. Other times it makes itself known as mundanely as a Tannoy announcement on the tube.
The latter happened to me yesterday. I was sat at my desk at my current resting job and I had the thought as clear as iced water:
“This isn’t what my life was meant for.”
I’m a bit of a nihilist, so I believe we make our own meaning in life rather than being destined for something. And my current job ain’t it. I’ve known it for a while. But yesterday was that deep knowing that marks epiphanies out as more than general observations.
I know this is the wrong kind of epiphany; I just love the thought of these guys starting a commune together.
Now comes the tricky part.
I’d personally say that having the epiphany is, arguably, easy-peasy lemon squeezey. You have a realisation and you’re like, “ohmygosh that totally makes sense!” or, “oh no this is not what I wanted at all!” Then you have the fall out. What do you do when you realise you can’t marry the not-actually-love-of-your-life? Or that you should open an underground rooftop bar in Guatemala?
I’ve been having some thoughts. Are these thoughts helpful advice? I have no idea, but I’ve been having them so I’m going to share them.
Firstly, I think it’s important to acknowledge the role our previous reality has played. For example, my current job was a necessary and positive part of the previous season of my life. It helped me buy my house with my partner. It got me out of a very toxic work environment. I’ve met some lovely people whilst working at this job. And it’s still been flexible enough for me to attend auditions and take some smaller freelance gigs. These are all things I needed 6+ months ago.
I believe expressing gratitude for the good things allows us to not feel like we’ve wasted our time. It can be so easy to berate ourselves for ‘being on the wrong track’ that we don’t accept that a) you don’t know what you don’t know, b) your current path may have lead you to realise the next road you now need to take, and c) life isn’t something that has a ‘right way’; there’s no instruction manual and you don’t get a trophy at the end. This isn’t to say we’re not justified in wanting change, but it is to say we haven’t failed because we now need to pivot.
Secondly, allow the epiphany to fuel the dream of what’s next, especially if the insight is about what you don’t want. I can’t remember if this was from a chat with a friend, or in a dream or on a podcast (great work citing my sources, I know, but I’m in the middle of a daily blog challenge - cut me some slack!) but - No! I remember now, it was in the weekly CEC zoom meeting I went to for the first time this week! I’m not editing this out, so I hope you enjoyed my literal stream of consciousness, there.
Aaaaaaanyway…
I was talking to Sandy Thomson in the Creative Entrepreneurs’ Club meet up on Monday, and she said that when you have a list of all the things you don’t want, you need to get clear on what you do want. Knowing what we want gives us a way to recognise it when we see it. Without it, we bumble around poo-pooing anything that crosses our radar, or we sit around waiting for the perfect thing to land in our lap with a neon sign flashing, “THIS IS YOUR DREAM SPOUSE/JOB/LIFE!!!”
my dream life would deffo have this sign attached.
It’s hard to know what we want, especially if we’re used to our old life and we feel like a completely different person now. And not knowing what we want is uncomfortable. One of the most challenging things I’m still facing after nearly two years of - let’s go with ‘identity crisis’ - is that I don’t know exactly what I want. I feel like I should know. It’s ridiculous that I don’t know. But I don’t, and I need to give myself the grace to let the picture become clear.
Finally, we need to come up with a plan. No matter how many influencers proselytise about quitting your job with nothing but ten bucks and a dream of becoming a crypto-tycoon, real life rarely pans out like that. We need to take practical steps to get where we want to be. What’s our exit strategy? What necessary skills do we have? What skills do we need? Will this effect anyone in our lives and how do we manage that?
Epiphanies can feel very intangible, but bringing our dreams down into reality requires tangibility. It requires to-do lists, meetings, phone-calls, very often money - mundane, earthy, material things. So, we need to figure out what needs to be done and then do the thing.
So, those are my thoughts. Now I need to take my own advice, I guess…